The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Walking into a courtroom for a divorce rarely ends in justice. The most likely outcome is a continuance. People take the day off from work, pay their attorney a good sum of money, and watch the judge kick the can down the road, walking out with nothing resolved. Now picture the opposite: one skilled, neutral person at the helm of the entire divorce, guiding both spouses through the divorce process step by step until every last piece is finished.

Susan Guthrie welcomes Paula Lawhon, a certified family law specialist and full-time divorce mediator in northern California who has spent more than two decades helping families reach agreements without turning their lives into a war. Paula started as a litigator and realized in a courthouse hallway that there had to be a better way, then built her entire practice around finding it. She is the author of Effectively Steering the Ship, a new book from the American Bar Association that offers a blueprint for a divorce built around resolution instead of conflict, with one neutral person steering the whole process at a pace that fits your life and no surprises waiting after the papers are signed.

This conversation explores what a divorce looks like when it is actually managed well, why so many divorces stall out and cost far more than they should, and the one thing anyone can ask their own mediator for that could change the entire experience. For anyone facing divorce, and the professionals guiding families through it, this one changes what you think is possible.

What You'll Hear:

• Why there is no one-size-fits-all divorce, and how you and your spouse can design mediation to fit your family, your finances, and your timeline.
• How a case-managing mediator steers the whole ship, guiding you from the first filing all the way to the final judgment and beyond so nobody is ever lost.
• Why you and your spouse are the only decision-makers in mediation, with no judge, no dictating, and no one telling you what your life should look like.
• How full disclosure protects you, and why, when in doubt, it is better to over-disclose.
• Why you are not done when you sign the papers, since retirement transfers, title changes, and settlement payments are where good divorces quietly fall apart.
• How to ask your mediator for more, including the next steps, the action items, and the "you are here" dot on the map.

Get this week's FREE RESOURCE: The First-Meeting Mediation Guide: 10 Questions That Put You at the Helm can be found on the website at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode

About this week's special guest: Paula Lawhon

Paula Lawhon is a Certified Family Law Specialist and a full-time divorce mediator based in Northern California, where she has spent more than two decades helping families reach agreements without turning their lives into a war. She started as a litigator, realized somewhere in a courthouse hallway that there had to be a better way, and built her entire practice around finding it. She is a member of the Association of Professional Family Mediators, she has served as a settlement mediator for her county's Superior Court, and she is the author of a brand new book from the American Bar Association called Effectively Steering the Ship

CONNECT WITH PAULA LAWHON:

Effectively Steering the Ship: https://www.americanbar.org/products/inv/book/455546260/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sfmediation/

Paula's law practice: Lawhon Law & Mediation P.C.: https://www.lawhonlaw.com/

 

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Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has contributed to The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What would you say if I told you there is a way to choose the judge for your divorce, and skip the courtroom, entirely? The answer might surprise you. It's arbitration. In almost six years of Divorce and Beyond, arbitration has never been part of the conversation, until now.

Susan Guthrie welcomes family law attorney Amanda Mason, co-founder and CEO of Solagree, a virtual flat-fee divorce process that puts expert financial and parenting guidance and mediation first, with private arbitration as the backdrop, so nobody gets stuck and nobody ends up in court. Amanda built Solagree after going through her own divorce, including a full custody trial in the same courthouse where she had practiced for years. She knows the system from both sides of the counsel table and has decided families deserve something better.

This conversation explores why delay and fear fuel conflict, why functioning is not the same as healing, and how closing the exits keeps both spouses committed to reaching resolution. For anyone going through a divorce, and the professionals helping families restructure through it, this one changes what you think your options are.

Together, Susan and Amanda break down how arbitration cuts the delay that fuels conflict, why it is not litigation light, and how agreeing up front that an arbitrator will decide whatever you can't settle closes the exits so no one can walk away or drag it out forever. For anyone going through a divorce, and the professionals helping families restructure through it, this one changes what you think your options are.

What You'll Hear:

• How arbitration lets you and your spouse choose a decision-maker with deep family law experience, even for their reputation for kindness, instead of whichever judge is assigned to your case.
• Why delay creates conflict, with every month waiting for a court date adding paperwork updates, professional fees, and distrust.
• How fear stops people from settling, and why starting with financial and parenting specialists before anyone negotiates makes settlement stop feeling impossible.
• Why this is not litigation light, keeping every tool from expert witnesses to appraisals while giving up the backlog, the formality, and the courtroom.

About this week's special guest: Amanda Mason

Amanda Mason is a family law attorney, certified mediator, and the co-founder and CEO of SOLAGREE®, a virtual, flat-fee divorce process built to keep families out of court.

Admitted to the North Carolina bar in 2003, Amanda has spent more than two decades in family law and is a partner at Mason, Mason & Smith in Wilmington, North Carolina. She is certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission as both a Family Financial and a Superior Court Civil mediator, and she has been named to the North Carolina Super Lawyers list for 2025, 2026, and 2027, after appearing on the Rising Stars list from 2015 to 2018.

Her work on SOLAGREE began with her own divorce. Amanda went through a full custody trial in the same courthouse where she had practiced for years, and standing on the other side of the counsel table changed how she saw the system. In 2019 she began building an alternative: a structured process where couples agree at the outset that private arbitration, not a courtroom, will decide anything they cannot settle themselves. That single commitment removes the two things that derail most divorces, one spouse walking away and one spouse dragging it out.

SOLAGREE® is a virtual, flat-fee divorce process that replaces the courtroom with a private, structured path to resolution.

It works in three phases. In the first, a certified divorce financial analyst and a parenting specialist help each person understand their financial picture and define their parenting goals, without the usual discovery slog. In the second, an experienced family law mediator guides the negotiation, where most cases resolve. In the third, if anything is still unresolved, a private arbitrator the couple helps select issues a binding decision.

What sets it apart is the commitment at the front end. Both people agree from the start that arbitration, not court, will decide whatever they cannot settle. Amanda calls it a closed system, and it is why nobody can walk away and nobody can stall. A set of standard ground rules, including what she calls her anti-ghosting provisions, keeps both parties participating.

Pricing is flat and published up front, by track: Parenting at $2,250 per person, Financial at $4,800 per person, and Combined at $5,990 per person, including the neutral experts, the mediation, the arbitration, and the final award.

The entire process runs online. Attorneys are welcome and optional, and SOLAGREE is expanding state by state toward nationwide availability.

CONNECT WITH AMANDA MASON AND SOLAGREE®

Website: solagree.com
Take the eligibility quiz: solagree.com
Book a consultation: solagree.com/book-a-solagree-consult
Email Amanda: amanda@solagree.com

Instagram: @solagree_divorce
Amanda on Instagram: @amandamasonatty
Facebook: facebook.com/Solagree
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/solagree
Amanda on LinkedIn: Amanda Mason

Amanda's law practice: Mason, Mason & Smith, Wilmington, NC, masonmasonlaw.com

 

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

The end of a marriage does not mean the end of who you are. It can be the blank canvas that opens the door to becoming the person you were always meant to be, and there is no better place to close out a season than in that joyful, wide-open work of reinvention.

Susan Guthrie welcomes back stylist, dating expert, and author Alyssa Dineen, who rebuilt her own life after divorce and now helps others do the same from the outside in. This conversation, one of the most loved in the show's archive, breaks down what she calls "divorce as the mother of reinvention."

From the closet cleanse that clears out clothes that no longer feel like home, to practicing self-kindness in the small moments, to getting real about online dating profiles and photos, this episode is a guide for reinventing yourself from the inside out.

What You'll Hear:

• Why a closet cleanse after divorce can feel like purging an old identity, and how choosing a few new pieces that feel like "the new you" builds confidence
• How small acts of self-kindness, like sleeping in or journaling nightly gratitude, help you appreciate the "benchmark moments" of starting over
• The "first date uniform" and why having a go-to outfit takes the stress out of getting ready to date again
• How to take profile photos that feel natural instead of staged
• How "shopping your closet" and restyling what you already own can create a whole new look without a big budget

Episode 8 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brought back 8 episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. We've made it to the final episode! Follow the show to catch up on all of the episodes and stay tuned for new episodes to come. 

About this week's special guest: Alyssa Dineen

Hi! I’m Alyssa Dineen and I’m a personal stylist and dating coach all rolled into one. I started Style My Profile to help other online daters feel better about getting out there— and staying out there— in the world of online dating. Whether it’s to meet your soulmate, to find a fun person to have dinner with or even just match with more people, I can help you from the ground up. From making the decision about whether you’re actually ready to online date, to finding your true-to-you style for your profile photos and IRL dates, to what to include in your profile, to actually asking someone out. 

With my 20 years of styling expertise, my art director eye, my new book, The Art of Online Dating, and my own personal dating experience, I am able to coach online daters successfully through the foreign world of dating apps.

Find More Information on Alyssa Dineen:

Website http://www.stylemyprofilenyc.com

Book:  The Art of Online Dating

Instagram: http://instagram.com/stylemyprofilenyc  and http://instagram.com/alyssadineen

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Betrayal is one of the deepest wounds divorce can carry. As part of her summer series on rebuilding after divorce, Susan Guthrie, family law attorney and mediator, turns her attention to healing itself, sitting down with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute.

Whether it's a loved one, a friend, a colleague, or someone entirely unexpected, betrayal reaches into nearly every part of life and can be hard to move beyond, sometimes for years. Dr. Silber has spent her career studying exactly that, building a program that guides people through the five stages of betrayal toward a new foundation and a new worldview. Together, she and Susan unpack why betrayal cuts so deep, walking through those stages and the reasons so many people stay stuck in the process without realizing it.

As Dr. Silber puts it, "the best revenge is a life well lived." Wherever someone is in their own healing, this conversation offers a clear next step toward it.

What You'll Learn

• Why betrayal is uniquely devastating, striking at the sense of self in ways other traumas don't
• Why Dr. Silber says that even though betrayal happened to you, it was never really about you
• The five stages of betrayal and healing, and how to recognize which one you're in
• The three reasons people get stuck and never fully heal from betrayal
• Why staying stuck in betrayal can function like an addiction, and what it takes to break the cycle

Episode 7 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. 

About this week's special guest: Dr. Debi Sibler

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day, is an award-winning speaker and 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast, From Betrayal to Breakthrough, ranks in the top 1.5% globally. Her groundbreaking PhD study revealed 3 discoveries that completely revolutionized our understanding of betrayal-and how to achieve full healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. Creator of the world's #1 betrayal recovery certification for life, business, health, and leadership coaches, Dr. Debi equips practitioners globally with her evidence-based framework so they can deliver exponentially better results with their existing clients. Featured on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx (twice), she equips practitioners with the missing framework-helping them move from uncertainty to confidence, from using general tools that keep clients stuck to specialized approaches that create genuine transformation.

Find More Information on Dr. Silber:

Website: http://thepbtinstitute.com

Book: Unstuck: The Practitioner's Guide to Moving Betrayal Clients from Survival to Transformation

You can view Dr. Debi's latest TEDx Talk, "Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?" HERE!

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Not every co-parenting relationship can be fixed through better communication. What do you do when the other parent refuses to cooperate, no matter what you try? There's a name for the path forward: parallel parenting. Susan Guthrie welcomes divorce and recovery coach Dr. Courtney Evans, who has lived through high-conflict co-parenting herself and now helps others build the boundaries that get them out of it.

This episode continues Divorce & Beyond's summer series, picking up where last week's conversation on uncooperative co-parents left off. Dr. Evans explains what parallel parenting is, when to use it, and how to create real peace for you and your children even when the conflict doesn't stop. 

Episode 6 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.  

What You'll Learn

•  Parallel Parenting: a transformative approach that can help you manage high-conflict situations with greater ease and clarity
• “There is no one solution for how to divorce, co-parent or parallel parent or how to recover after. Every situation is unique.”
• The difference between counter-parent, co-parent, and parallel parent
• Why Courtney likes to refer to parallel parenting as peaceful parenting
• How and when to get started with parallel parenting or make the transition

Episode 6 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. 

About this week's special guest: Dr. Courtney Evans

Dr. Courtney is an experienced divorce and co-parenting coach who also holds a DNP. Her two-decade career in the healthcare field has lent to her deep understanding of mental health and the importance of self-care during challenging life transitions.

In 2021, after a traumatic family court journey, she switched gears in her career, determined to turn her experience into a source of healing. She began coursework in Alternate Dispute Resolution strategies. In 2022, Courtney received her Divorce Coach and Recovery Coach certifications from the CDC® International Divorce Coach Certification Program and a specialization in Divorce Conflict from the Divorce Coach Academy®.

Courtney is currently in school working on her MBA as well as continued work in co-parenting and high conflict dispute resolution specializations. She is also currently writing her first book, Uncaged: Redefining Forgiveness out January 13, 2025.

Find More Information on Dr. Evans:
Dr. Courtney’s website: https://drcourtney.me

Dr. Courtney on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcourt_everafterco

Dr. Courtney on Facebook: http://facebook.com/drcourt_everafterco

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Parallel Parenting Solution (book) 

Get Uncaged: The Key to Happily Ever After by Dr. Courtney Evans with a Forward by Susan E. Guthrie

 

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

 

Co-parenting takes two people willing to show up. Susan Guthrie says that when only one parent is willing, it is one of the most common and most exhausting struggles she sees, and it is exactly the situation divorce parenting expert Christina McGhee helps families navigate. 

Parenting even under the best of circumstances is challenging. Add in a co-parent who is uncooperative or high-conflict, and it becomes downright exhausting, leaving you feeling like you are constantly trying to protect your kids while managing someone who is not making it easy. 

Christina tackles one of the toughest situations of all, co-parenting when there is no real co-parent on the other side, and shares her top tips for working through the feelings of hopelessness and exhaustion that come with it. Together, she and Susan talk through how to get to a place of being in control of yourself and your emotions, so you can stay grounded, set boundaries, keep your children out of the middle, and show up as an empowered, consistent, engaging, and confident parent no matter what your co-parent is doing.

What You'll Learn

•  What Christina means when she says “When there’s no “Co” in Co-parenting…”
• Instead of staying focused on fixing the co-parent, lean into your co-parenting values and work on yourself
• Radical acceptance: Adjust your expectations and accept things the way they are…for now. “It may not get easier, but how you manage it makes a difference.” 
• Ask yourself: How is your response going to impact your children?
• Talk about the problem, not the person. “Making the other parent look small will never make you look big.”
• Don’t forget about the power of one! 

Episode 5 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. 

About this week's special guest: Christina McGhee

Christina McGhee is a speaker and divorce parenting expert who believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families.  

While splitting up is undeniably hard, with the right kind of information and support, she thinks parents can be children's absolute best resource as life changes.  

As a coach with 20+ years of experience, Christina is dedicated to providing parents with the tools and practical support they need to get it right for their kids. 

She is also the author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids.  

As a child of divorce and as a bonus mom (aka step-mom), Christina gets plenty of opportunities to practice what she preaches. 

Together she and her husband have four “adultish” children (2 bonus, 2 bio), an ever-growing community of rescue dogs/cats, and an obscene number of chickens. You can nd out more about her at divorceandchildren.com

Find More Information on Christina:

Website: www.divorceandchildren.com 

Co-Parenting Specialist (CoPS) Certification Training with Mosten Guthrie Academy:  https://mostenguthrie.com/co-parenting-specialist

Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids:

https://amzn.to/3PpdW3m

Instagram: http://instagram.com/divorceandchildren

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorceandchildren
 

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

 

What happens when you suspect your spouse isn't telling the truth about the finances? Susan Guthrie says it's more common than you think, and it's exactly what forensic accountant Tracy Coenen does for a living.

Tracy Coenen has spent more than 25 years uncovering hidden money in corporate fraud cases and in divorces too. She calls it "divorce financial planning," when someone sees a split coming and starts thinking about what they can do with the money so they don't have to divide it or pay support on it. She also calls out "divorce amnesia," the sudden inability to remember an inheritance or a bank account on a financial disclosure form. Tracy returns to Divorce and Beyond to walk through the five most common ways people hide money when a marriage ends.

As a divorce attorney for more than three decades, Susan has seen plenty of these sneaky moves herself, and she knows a forensic accountant can almost always find them. Together, she and Tracy go through the practical, do it yourself steps to spot the signs using bank statements, tax documents, and a little pattern recognition, without hiring a small army of experts. If the numbers in your divorce have ever felt off, this one is for you.

What You'll Learn

• What to look for when a spouse is only depositing part of their paycheck into the joint account
• Why a sudden increase in cash withdrawals, or a spouse suddenly hitting the ATM, is worth a closer look
• How gift cards and cash back at checkout can become a quiet way to siphon money out of the marital estate
• How to spot a secret credit card, especially when it's hiding at the very same bank as your main account
• Why a paycheck, bonus, or commission that vanishes right as a divorce begins may not be a coincidence
• How pulling together the right bank statements and tax documents lets you spot these patterns yourself, without paying a forensic accountant

Episode 4 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. 

About this week's special guest: Tracy Coenen

Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could sit for the CPA exam… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans.

Find More Information on Tracy:

Fraud Coach: http://fraudcoach.com/beyond

Find Me The Money: Take Control, Uncover the Truth, and Win the Money You Deserve In Your Divorce https://amzn.to/3A105ep

Take the assessment: Is there financial fraud in your marriage? https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147522699/Epr7xfEb 

The Divorce Money Guide: https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147518094/Epr7xfEb 

Win Your Divorce:  https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147528573/Epr7xfEb 

Win Your Divorce All Access Pass: https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147528572/Epr7xfEb

Check out Tracy's previous episode: How to Spot the Red Flags of Financial Abuse in Divorce with Top Forensic Accountant, Tracy Coenen

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

 

Susan Guthrie turns to a subject that keeps more people up at night than almost any other one in divorce: money. Specifically, how to protect it, and how to stop spending it in the wrong places.

Heather Locus is a CPA, certified financial planner, and certified divorce financial analyst with a rare gift for taking the most complicated financial pieces of divorce and making them feel manageable. In this episode, Heather shares her top strategies for saving money in your divorce, from the common mistakes that quietly drain your settlement to the smart moves that keep more of your hard-earned dollars where they belong, with you.

Together, Susan and Heather walk through her five ways to save money in a divorce, from getting organized early and assembling the right support team, to keeping business and emotion separate, to using her Settle Smart projections to see the road ahead. As Heather points out, these are critical points whether you have millions in the bank or are living paycheck to paycheck.

What You'll Learn

• Why something as simple as setting up a separate email for divorce communications can save real time, money, and stress
• What discernment counseling is, and how pausing to consider it can save money in your divorce negotiations, even if you still end up divorcing
• Why having laser focused priorities, for yourself and for your spouse, is the key to smart negotiating
• How to assemble the right support team, and when mediation, collaborative divorce, or traditional litigation is the better fit
• Why remembering "it's business" helps you make financial decisions instead of emotional ones
• What Settle Smart is, and how modeling your financial future helps you know what to accept, and what's worth continuing to negotiate for

Episode 3 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. 

About this week's special guest: Heather Locus

Heather founded the National Divorce Practice Group at BDF Private Wealth to help divorcing individuals consciously navigate their divorce’s emotional and business aspects. From hiring the right fit attorney through their SettleSmart™ analysis, then implementing the divorce decree and auditing it annually, Heather ensures you have the resources you need to start your next chapter on a firm footing.

Heather founded our Women’s Service Team in 2006 to help female executives and business owners, widows, and women transitioning through divorce. After going through her own divorce in 2011, she realized how much more we could do to support divorcing women and men with a practice dedicated to serving their unique needs. Heather is driven by deep empathy to help divorcing individuals have clarity and confidence in finalizing their divorce.

A Forbes “America’s Top Women Advisor,” Heather is a nine-time “Five Star Wealth Manager” according to Chicago magazine, was named an “Influential Women in Business” by The Business Ledger, a “Top 200 Wealth Advisor Mom” by Working Mother, and an InvestmentNews “Woman to Watch.” Heather is an author of two books on divorce and has contributed to leading publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Crain’s Chicago Business, Family Lawyer Magazine, and Divorce Magazine on multiple topics. She is a CPA, CFP^® practitioner, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA^®) professional and has completed intensive executive coaching and divorce mediation training.

Heather loves learning from her teenage son and daughter and working with organizations she is passionate about, including After School Matters, The Lilac Tree, Between Friends, and Make-A-Wish Foundation.

For more information on Heather:

Call/Text Heather at 312-312-2144 or email hlocus@bdfllc.com if you or a friend are contemplating or in the middle of a divorce.

Financial Issues in Divorce: A Client Handbook: Heather's latest book written for the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys.

Listen to Heather's prior episode of Divorce & Beyond:  

Negotiating Your Financial Future: Key Factors to Consider with Leading Divorce Financial Professional, Heather Locus" on The Divorce & Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. #114

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

 

Susan Guthrie has been a divorce attorney and mediator for 35 years and she thinks that in almost all cases, your first hire in divorce should be a coach. This episode explains why.

How do you find the right divorce coach for you? The popularity of divorce coaching has grown enormously, and with so many kinds of coaches out there, it can be hard to know what a divorce coach actually does or how to find the right one. People hear the word coach and think of life coaches, athletic coaches, business coaches, and divorce coaching gets lumped in with all of them. This episode clears that up and answers the questions many people need early in the divorce process.

Susan is joined by Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak, the founders of The Divorce Coaches Academy, who train and support divorce coaches and are themselves practicing coaches, mediators, and Susan's colleagues in the dispute resolution field. They explain what a divorce coach really is, a flexible, goal-oriented process recognized by the American Bar Association as a form of alternative dispute resolution, designed to support and guide people through both the business side and the emotional management of divorce.

Together they walk through how to find a coach who fits, what questions to ask on a complimentary discovery call, why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and how the right coach can save a client both time and money. Susan makes the case she has made before, that a divorce coach is an essential member of your team and often the best place to start, because the choice can shape who you hire next.

Episode 2 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. The series starts here.

What You'll Learn

• What a divorce coach actually is, and why the American Bar Association recognizes divorce coaching as a form of alternative dispute resolution
• Why finding a coach before an attorney can change who you hire and how your whole divorce unfolds
• How to tell if a coach is the right fit, from credentials and training to the complimentary discovery call
• What to ask about a coach's process, programs, pricing, and how they work before you commit
• Why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and what it means to coach from your scar and not from your wound

About Our Guests: Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak

Debra and Tracy are both committed to the profession of divorce coaching and the process of alternative dispute resolution. They are both CDC Certified Divorce Coaches®, authors, educators, and founding members of Divorce Coaches Academy, an online education platform that provides continuing education for practicing, professional divorce coaches.

Tracy is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediator, serves as the Manager of the Mentor and Peer Coaching Programs for the CDC Certified Divorce Coach® certifying body, and has built her practice and reputation as an alternative dispute resolution specialist and conflict expert over the past 13 years.  Get Tracy's book: Divorce: Taking the High Road: Simple Strategies for Creating a Healthy Divorce, Tracy Callahan contributor and reach out to her at www.mediatingmatters.com

Debra is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Ohio Supreme Court trained Family Court Mediator, and Betrayal Trauma Specialist.  Get Debra's book: High Conflict Divorce for Women and reach out to her at www.debradoak.com

For More Information on Tracy, Debra and The Divorce Coaches Academy:

• Website:  https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/
• Email: dca@divorcecoachesacademy
• Social Media Handles 

IG: @divorcecoachesacademy
FB: @divorcecoachesacademy
LI: divorce-coaches-academy
Twitter: @AcademyDivorce

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

 

What do I do first when I find out I'm getting divorced?

It is the number one question people ask the moment divorce becomes real, whether they reached the decision themselves or were just told it is coming. In one of her most-requested solo episodes, Susan Guthrie introduces the concept of Divorce Triage, a clear-headed way to assess your situation and decide who to reach out to first based on the urgency and the needs of your specific case.

Borrowing from the emergency room, Susan explains that when a crisis hits, whether emotional, legal, or financial, you do not have to solve the whole thing at once. You just have to take the right first step. Drawing on more than three decades as a family law attorney and mediator, she walks through the core members of a divorce support team, the attorney, the mediator, the divorce coach, the therapist, and the certified divorce financial analyst, and uses real scenarios to show who your first call should be. From the affair discovery, to the financial betrayal, to the blindsided stay-at-home parent, to the longtime thinker who is finally ready to act, each situation calls for a different first move.

Divorce is not one size fits all, and the first decision you make can shape everything that follows. This episode helps you think clearly and choose carefully, so you move forward with strength and strategy instead of panic.

Episode 1 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. The series starts here.

What You'll Learn

• Why your first call may not be an attorney, and how to triage who you reach out to based on your circumstances
• Who belongs on your divorce support team, the attorney, mediator, divorce coach, therapist, and CDFA, and when to bring each one in
• How to take the right first step when betrayal, fear, or financial shock has your emotions all over the place
• Why too many voices create confusion, and how to avoid the trap of asking everyone for advice
• Susan's golden nugget: why divorce is not a DIY project, and why the first decision you make shapes everything that comes next

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

 

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.